SO confused by this guy I'm dating! Please please help!?

Gay male in my early 20's here. Am really in need of some help! I feel like this is one of the most confusing situations I've ever had and goes beyond the typical "Does he or doesn't he like me?" dilemma. I apologize if this becomes really long. I'd appreciate so much any help!!



About 2 weeks ago I met this guy. He's 19 (I'm 21), just moved to NYC a few months ago from VT. We immediately start talking a lot - spending entire days texting - and make plans to hang out. We go to dinner and movie, and have this amazing connection! It's so rare for me that I'll actually like somebody but I found myself really falling for him, really quickly. That night after our first date, he's texting me and says "I'm so happy we met!! You have no idea! Tonight was the best I've felt since I've been here! I think you're so cool! I can't even explain how comfortable I felt with you and how uncomfortable I've been since I've been in New York. Can we hang out soon??" So I tell him that I felt the same way. He says "I really like you a lot!". Aside from the fact that I found myself liking him in a way I haven't liked someone in years, I thought it was really cool that he was so honest and genuine. So we make plans for the next day. We go to dinner and then back to his apartment.



I think it was then that I started to notice things and come to the conclusion that he has Aspergers. I don't know that for a fact, however I absolutely know he does. He has all the signs of it. He had told me that he has basically no friends here and he doesn't really have many back home either. At dinner, he's telling me things like he wants me to go back home with him to VT for a weekend at the end of the month, and saying things like "This person I work with really wants to meet you!". So we go back to his place. He seemed pretty nervous, but I was too. I noticed that he had taped to his wall the movie ticket from the movie we saw the day before AND the matchbook from the restaurant we went to!! After hanging out for a while, we decide to watch a movie while lying in his bed. FINALLY things started to happen! We had our arms and legs all around each other, I had my head on his shoulder, he was holding my hand. It felt amazing. The entire night, we fall asleep in each others arms. Halfway through the night, he woke up and just pulled me closer to him and we kissed.



In the morning, things felt weird. He was being really weird and silent. I was only there for like 15 minutes before leaving, and he didn't even walk me to the door or to the elevator or anything! I had a weird vibe. But then by the time I got to the subway, I had 3 texts from him saying what a great time he had! The next day, I was pretty busy but we continue texting all the time, and make plans for the following day. He said he wanted me to model for him (He's a photographer, I'm a model).



When I got off the train to meet him, I had 6 texts from him! He sounded so anxious to see me, saying things like "Are you almost there???" and "I'm just going to buy cigarettes real quick but I'll be right back, 2 seconds, so don't worry!!". I felt SO good about everything! So I meet up with him, and he's being weird and silent, and it's difficult to get a conversation started. So we go to his place to take pictures. Finally, he loosened up and we started laughing our asses off and having a great time and being flirty. At one point, we were lying on his bed and he was lying with his head on my shoulder and stuff. It was weird though...he kept flipping back and forth between between being weird and being cool, it was literally like clockwork, every 30 minutes or so! So we go outside for a cigarette and he says to me "I'm probably just going to edit these pictures and go to bed tonight", which I didn't like so I said "Um do you want me to leave or something...?". He says "Yeah, after this cigarette". ?!?! So we go upstairs and he says "So, what are we gonna do tonight?" WTF??



So we decide to watch a movie. It was SO strange. For the first like 30 mins of the movie, he had his arm around me, was playing with my hair, being really sweet. And then, all of a sudden...he just stopped. He started moving away from me, which really confused me because nothing happened! I'd move my arm next to his, he'd move his away. He was moving so far away that he nearly fell off the bed! And then... he asks me to spend the night. ON AN AIR MATTRESS!!! As soon as he said that, I moved far away from him and just waited for the movie to end. Now I was the one acting weird and distant and giving one word answers. I was hoping he'd ask why or confront it but he didn't. So I just left as soon as the movie ended...having to go home all the way from the East Village to the Upper West SidSO confused by this guy I'm dating! Please please help!?
You don't need this guy. It sounds like the relationship is really not working for you. Or it works sometimes but not others. I think part of the issue is that you're feeling a bit of an urgency for a relationship, and this one is kinda like a tease: it's there, and then it's not. It's there again, ooops, not there again.



That might be the dynamic here, and it might be the way it would continue to go. This could explain why he has few friends - few can tolerate that dynamic! And it's not necessarily honorable to tolerate it.



It might be hard for you to really end it with this guy, but that might be the best thing for you. If you do so, get your stuff back and bring him his to make a clean break. This will help you move on.



Good luck!
There's no way I'm reading that. Reduce this to 3 paragraphs and try again.SO confused by this guy I'm dating! Please please help!?
doesn't sound like Asperger's sounds like bi polar. Sounds like drama
Well, I skimmed that. And I saw nothing that looked like Aspergers. :/



I hate to break it to you, but he just seems like a jerk and a weirdo.SO confused by this guy I'm dating! Please please help!?
I will say it's better to leave him once and for all. I don't know about you, but this guy seems a bit clingy. If he has taped the movie tickets on the wall, I guess its either he really likes you, or he is obsessed with you. Lets hope its the first one. Go meet him and talk face to face with him truthfully about your feelings. That is important in any relationship. If he refuse, know that you have given him a shot at it, clean his apartment off your stuff, and leave him for good. you can get better people. Good luck! =)