How can I motivate myself to get a job? (Its pretty long but help would be appreciated?

And anyone who reads this is probably going to assume I'm just a lazy person. But I think its more than that, and maybe this isn't the site to try and discuss this? Oh well.

Well when I was 12 years old I told my mother I wanted to see a therapist and she took me to one, they gave me anti depressant medication. I took it for a few weeks and then stopped taking it and stopped going to the therapist (I didn't like her and she was judge-mental) And the medication didn't seem to work for me.

From 12-14 I struggled in school (I was a good student, and pretty smart I got good grades) I just couldn't focus and I would just start crying as soon as I got to school, and I just couldn't stop so they had to send me home. I ended up dropping out of school and going back the next year (i was 14 the 2nd time) and it continued to happen. So, I dropped out of school completely. I never had many friends or anything only a few. which I'm fine with. I'd rather have a few great friends than a lot of "okay" friends. Its hard for me to trust people, most people aren't what they seem to be. I don't talk to anyone in my family (and its not like I "cut" them out of my life, they just don't talk to me." Besides my mother.



Anyway, I moved to NYC with my boyfriend when I was 16 for about 2 years (off and on from him to my mothers) and I had to come back to my mothers in NC ( me and my boyfriend are still together, its just a bad time with money for both of us) in NC I have no money or a CAR. I turn 18 years old tomorrow (nov 21)



And I WANT to find a job, but I don't feel like I can do it. One of my friends is trying to get me into one of his friends restaurant as being a waitress (not a permanent thing, just temp.) I really need the money, I just don't want to live through the same exp. I had when I was in middle school. In jan. I'm supposed to go and take high school classes and try to get my GED. (going back to school isn't an option for me, I dropped out in the 7th grade) and I want to go to college and study psychology.



I'm pretty sure my friend will help me get there and get me back (since I have no car at the moment and neither does my mother)



So basically..my question is how can I motivate myself to take the job? And I don't think many (if any) people will actually read all of that, but if you do I'd really appreciate it.



And I know this sounds pretty retarded, but my mother smokes in the house (cigarettes) and well I smell like it. And I HAVE been TRYING to get her to stop since I was 8 years old but she won't..so is there any suggestions for that? besides moving out because right now that's not an option...



I really don't want to smell like that at work, it seems "nasty" especially considering i do NOT smoke. (or drink)How can I motivate myself to get a job? (Its pretty long but help would be appreciated?
Spend the night on the streets and that will motivate you to fight for a good job.