How do I deal with this bachelorette planning nightmare? Just stay quiet and friendly still? Or complain?

I've been planning a bachelorette party for my best friend and I am going bananas. I am the maid of honor, but from day one, her two other bridesmaids (one is a childhood friend and the other is the groom's sister) have jumped the gun on planning pretty much everything. We live in three different locations so all planning has been done by email. Both girls have enormously higher salaries than mine (I work in journalism, natch), not to mention the fact that my friend asked me to be maid of honor the same week I got laid off from my job. So I have really had to save my pennies to go to her wedding in Jamaica in December ... what doesn't help is that these two other bridesmaids (for whom money seriously is not an issue from the way they talk) have insisted that we go to a fancy, expensive tea in NYC, then go to an expensive spa, then go to an expensive restaurant, then go out for drinks in the poshest clubs, and then stay in an expensive midtown hotel! When I mentioned that it was unrealistic to expect people to be able to spend any more than $500 on this day of events, they chose a different hotel ... but now I have been pressured to stay in the hotel, even though I could easily just go home. Out of respect for my best friend, I have been very easy-going and friendly throughout this whole process ... I have not complained when the childhood friend basically took over the planning ... nor when the groom's sister suggested things that were way too expensive for anyone (I'm sure she has no clue as to our salaries because she lives across the country and we've never met her). The one thing I did suggest that nobody else thought of was goody bags for the guests ... I figure, we should at least give them some souvenirs for all the trouble they are taking to attend this long party. Plus, I like doing little creative things ... I seriously did not think this detail was a big deal at all and it would be a great momento. But then the other two started suggesting we fill the bags with expensive things from Sephora .... I went along with it begrudgingly, of course, all the while suggesting things like cookies and souvenir t-shirts, etc. Now the childhood friend is telling ME that we are spending too much money on these bags and she can't afford it, etc. Um, really??? Putting those expensive items in them was her idea! And why is it that the one thing they even agreed to has to be the thing that they complain about? I mean for cryin' out loud, paying $70 for 11 goody bags is nothing compared to a $30 tea, $60 spa visit, $60 dinner, $100 night on the town and $100 hotel stay. Ugh! How do I deal with this bachelorette planning nightmare? Just stay quiet and friendly still? Or complain?
Alright well I could only get about halfway through before I became blown away with these ladies requests!



It is absolutely insane to expect people to go out of THEIR way for such a party. If extremes are expected, such as fabulous spa's and dinners (especially in another country!), it should be complimentary from the bride. No normal person could afford such an event. If she has the money to get married in Jamaica, she should make it a pleasant experience for everyone, by paying for such an elaborate event.



And at this point hun, I would just say, "I surrender" "I am being bombarded with foolish requests that I cannot bear to take on" It is understandable and if she is your friend there should be absolutely NO hard feelings. Her other bridesmaids seem pretty insane....lol damn girl, I should give you my number, I bet you have a lot to unload off your mind!!!



lol



We should just say forget it and go to a spa ourselves lol

Everything will work out though. Just relax. I have heard that being Maid of Honor is very time consuming, and expensive. Let me know if you need an ear! good luck babe!How do I deal with this bachelorette planning nightmare? Just stay quiet and friendly still? Or complain?
I'm with you, and you make good sense, and with the economy in the shitter most other people are going to be on your side. You made a lot of good sense here... but you should take this straight to those girls.How do I deal with this bachelorette planning nightmare? Just stay quiet and friendly still? Or complain?
Too many cooks and what you should have done was resign the second you knew the 2 harpies were involved. I was once hired to paint a mural on nursery walls for friends of mine and all was fine, did the preliminary sketches, etc until I found out they had another friend who was an interior decorator and she came up with all these suggestions as to what I should do, so I withdrew and she took over. I do not work with anyone else, I must either be given control or I won't work at all which is what you should have done and this is exactly why, there are always conflicts.

Now you must either go along with everything or back off and explain you have given all your suggestions and ideas and they must make use of the ones they want to use, but your part is done. (And it really is)

So as of right now, you are off the job and let the other 2 bicker and whine and finish. Buying anything from Sephora is insanity, if you can afford 75.00 for a lipstick more Power to you but very few people are willing to spend that much on an item you can get for 7.00 at any drugstore and better quality.

As for being pressured to stay in a hotel, no one can pressure you into anything UNLESS you ALLOW them to. You need to get a backbone and tell them you will NOT be staying at a hotel because you are currently unemployed and cannot afford it, period. End.
Step back and let these silly princesses plan this overly priced blowout if they want to. E-mail them that few people will be willing to spend this much money on one night's bachelorette party, and they in fact have priced you out of attending (you know the upside about the country being in a recession? It's no shame to admit you're low on money, because almost everybody is). Then when they get back no RSVP's for this event, or people say, "Oh, I'd love to go, but I can't afford all that and travel to Jamaica for the wedding too!" then you pop up with your very reasonable plan. Don't forget to practice saying, "I told you so."